Stuffies

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baragoddex:

molly-ren:

pocketmouse:

pocketmouse:

basic spelling when it comes to trans terms, since these things tend to get misspelled fairly often:

  • transgender, not ‘transgendered’. you wouldn’t say someone is gayed; it’s the same thing here
  • trans, not trans*
  • remember to put the space. trans woman, trans man, trans non-binary person
  • not necessarily related to spelling, but don’t use ‘enby’ as a blanket term for all non-binary people. some of us don’t like it or are uncomfortable with it, and prefer ‘nb’ or ‘non-binary’. stick with non-binary until you know what a person is okay with
  • add on if you see this list and have something else to say

i thought of more things:

  • never use ‘it’ UNLESS the trans/non-binary person has specifically said it pronouns are fine. if the person wants you to use it pronouns only, and you refuse or use different pronouns, you are misgendering the person. yes, i know the history of the usage of ‘it’ against trans people. that doesn’t make it okay to misgender someone who has made the conscious decision to use ‘it’ for itself
  • FtM and MtF can be harmful. use these carefully; make sure the person you’re talking about/to is okay with these terms. on that note, don’t talk about trans people being trans to others without the person’s express permission
  • "used to be a boy/girl"/"became a boy/girl" = not okay
  • "opposite gender" erases non-binary people. try "all genders" or "another gender" instead

Wait why are we not using trans* now?

this discussion i was part of a while ago might help you understand some of the reasons

http://inthenihil.tumblr.com/post/70263042185/ciscritical-not-cisphobic-zeroambit

So my feelings about this are ones of great disappointment. : /

I liked the asterisk, because as someone says in the link above, it makes nonbinary stuff more visible. But people using it only for trans women, and disregarding other people’s IDs with it, is definitely NOT how I wanted it to be used!

pocketmouse:

pocketmouse:

basic spelling when it comes to trans terms, since these things tend to get misspelled fairly often:

  • transgender, not ‘transgendered’. you wouldn’t say someone is gayed; it’s the same thing here
  • trans, not trans*
  • remember to put the space. trans woman, trans man, trans non-binary person
  • not necessarily related to spelling, but don’t use ‘enby’ as a blanket term for all non-binary people. some of us don’t like it or are uncomfortable with it, and prefer ‘nb’ or ‘non-binary’. stick with non-binary until you know what a person is okay with
  • add on if you see this list and have something else to say

i thought of more things:

  • never use ‘it’ UNLESS the trans/non-binary person has specifically said it pronouns are fine. if the person wants you to use it pronouns only, and you refuse or use different pronouns, you are misgendering the person. yes, i know the history of the usage of ‘it’ against trans people. that doesn’t make it okay to misgender someone who has made the conscious decision to use ‘it’ for itself
  • FtM and MtF can be harmful. use these carefully; make sure the person you’re talking about/to is okay with these terms. on that note, don’t talk about trans people being trans to others without the person’s express permission
  • "used to be a boy/girl"/"became a boy/girl" = not okay
  • "opposite gender" erases non-binary people. try "all genders" or "another gender" instead

Wait why are we not using trans* now?

leathercoven:

my hot fat trans body modeling one of our new designs, the Diamondback Holster 

my love for this photoset never ends :3

foxglovesandaconite:

dearjimmoriarty:

foxglovesandaconite:

meandrous:

groundchele:

dear santa for christmas i want lesbian romantic comedies thank you

Me and the bf were just talking about how we want a trans* romcom. 

yes all sorts of queer rom coms

do you know the slapstick hilarity that is getting into a new binder it would be amazing

tripping on your cock when you get out of bed

your cock falling out of your underwear and down your trouser leg

packers are hilarious in general they’re all squishy and unnatural colours and you can make them stick to things

Notes on Fetishizing People

subtlecluster:

I’ve recently been part of some conversations about attraction where the following questions/ideas have come up—“am I a chaser? am I fetishizing a community if I’m attracted to its members? is this terrible? is this something I need to think further about? can’t I just say I like XYZ and have it be that, with no ulterior motive? we all have fetishes [here on Fetlife] and some of those things are actions or body parts or people, or IDs…”

There’s a difference between
(a) liking a person’s appearance/body and appreciating it sexually/aesthetically 
and (b) placing value solely or primarily on that person’s body/appearance/identity category.
In (b), the person’s story, their life, their individuality is not of primary concern. It is less important than the “hot” identity that makes a person want them. This is also tied to someone having particular ideas about that identity (enter stereotypes!), which increase the desire and do not depend on reality, but on a fictional set of ideas and narratives about a person’s identity.

There are things we might find hot, but we should still interrogate those desires a bit more closely because so often they’re deeply entwined with racist, misogynistic, [insert ID]-st shit and they deserve a closer look. Really analyzing our desires, I think, can also serve to clarify them better for ourselves as well as for potential partners. For example, liking transwomen can be a thing for many reasons—it could be something about the history of transness, or the presumed/assumed anatomy, or it can be about finding someone similar/likewise trans*, or it’s an assumed attitude, the list goes on. What are you attracted to within the demographics you say you like? Are you attracted to women? To masculinity? To femininity? To genderqueerness? To men? To people with lots of hair regardless of what’s in their pants? The list can go on…

Personally, it can be tough for me to interact with people that I know fetishize some aspect of me. Random example—people who love “BBW” (Big Beautiful Women)! Personally, if I were approached by a self-identified “BBW fetishist” I’d probably give them some major side-eye because my experiences seeing that community deal with its attraction to fat bodies has been pretty sketchy in parts, and pretty objectifying. Ditto to someone who loves “Latin@s.” I’d question their motives, their interests, and their desires. I’d ask myself what about me are they stereotyping? Why is my Latinidad important to them? Is it something they wanna celebrate with me or is it something they want to keep out of sight and out of mind (and thus is easy to do because I don’t have an accent and am light-skinned)?

I think stuff like this can happen with any ID “category” (even things like…”gamer”), but it’s just exceptionally complicated and potentially hurtful to people when it’s around identity categories that put that person through shit and other people use to oppress them. Being a person of color or being queer or being fat are not “neutral identities”—they are loaded one that have been previously (and currently!) deployed to control people.

Finally, this conversation this also relates to (but is not the same as) being attracted to someone for how they are perceived and not how they actually identify, or ignoring a piece of someone’s ID because they can “pass” as something else that’s less “problematic.” For example, someone only/primarily being attracted to folks who appear/”act” white, regardless of actual cultural/racial/ethnic background, or someone being attracted to trans* folks that can pass as cis for whatever reason.