So on Friday night I found myself in an (unfortunately) common bind of not knowing what the hell to do with myself over the weekend. Then I was reminded of certain kinky goings-on and went without much hope of anything happening. Instead, I had no less than three cherries busted! In the order of demolition:
1. I had a violet wand used on me for the first time. For those who’ve never heard of a violet wand, it’s like what Nicola Tesla would use to masturbate with, and the boy that used it on me had colored hair and wore a sexy purple formal vest. The only way it could have set off more of my steampunk geek buttons is if we’d then retired to have sex in a dirigible.
2. I licked Hershey’s syrup off of a beautiful girl.
3. I got flogged and discovered to my embarrassment that flogging makes me want to cry like a little girl. Probably the first time in my career of asking people to whack me on purpose that I’ve ever really needed aftercare.
I promise that I will write at length about these things when my eyelids aren’t about to slide shut from exhaustion. In not-exactly current news:
4. The writer of I, Asshole has started a blog where she tries out Victorian recipes. It’s called The Queen’s Scullery, which I think is basically the best name for a Victorian recipe blog ever. It also hasn’t been updated in a while, which leaves me in suspense of the kind only foodies can understand: will the strawberries sink?
5. The New York Times mixed up feederism and fat acceptance in a review of the TV show Huge, sending a gay gainer blog a hell of a lot of traffic and inspiring Big Fat Blog to demand a retraction. I’d like to maybe do a KinkOnTap show where I talk about why so many people think fetish is scary and if it’s ever possible for feederism and fat acceptance to ever get along, but
6. I’ve been writing my head off, and usually for money. Also I put together a crockpot version of Queen’s Scullery stock and the kitchen is still such a wreck I’m surprised my housemates haven’t yet kicked me out of the house for negligence.
7. I wasn’t going to try to go out and see any 4th of July fireworks, only to discover I could see them pretty well through a gap in the trees near my house.
How about you, readers and lovers? Did you do anything involving cooking, kinking, or the unexpected this past weekend?