Violet Blue’s new book, Fetish Sex: A Complete Guide claims to be “the most comprehensive factual and practical book on sexual fetishes available”, with erotic stories, ways to tell if you have a fetish, and tips on how to enjoy even the most unusual ones safely. Expect a review in the future.
Like Vernacchio’s students, I have difficulty rationalizing facts (“70 percent of women do not orgasm through vaginal penetration alone”) with logistics (One student tells Abraham that “when she and her boyfriend ‘do anything, we just end up having sex’”). Like them, I struggle with communicating with men who say they want to make me feel good, but feel “very insecure” if they don’t implicitly understand how to do that. Like them, I have struggled to align my feminism with what I actually want in bed. One girl told Abraham that “she doesn’t enjoy cunnilingus, but taking the personal is political to heart, she asked her boyfriend to do it anyway: if she was expected to service him orally, he should have to return the favor.” I could have provided Abraham that sound bite, too.
If we miss out on the basics at a young age, when do we evolve into full sexual adults, people who know what we want and how to get it? Proponents of “disaster prevention” sex ed seem to think that if we teach kids about sex at a young age, they’ll mature too quickly. I was educated on that assumption, and I’m still waiting to really grow up.
In its breadth, depth and frank embrace of sexuality as, what Vernacchio calls, a “force for good” — even for teenagers — this sex-ed class may well be the only one of its kind in the United States. “There is abstinence-only sex education, and there’s abstinence-based sex ed,” said Leslie Kantor, vice president of education for Planned Parenthood Federation of America. “There’s almost nothing else left in public schools.”
Across the country, the approach ranges from abstinence until marriage is the only acceptable choice, contraceptives don’t work and premarital sex is physically and emotionally harmful, to abstinence is usually best, but if you must have sex, here are some ways to protect yourself from pregnancy and disease. The latter has been called “disaster prevention” education by sex educators who wish they could teach more; a dramatic example of the former comes in a video called “No Second Chances,” which has been used in abstinence-only courses. In it, a student asks a school nurse, “What if I want to have sex before I get married?” To which the nurse replies, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to be prepared to die.”
“Teaching Good Sex.” — Laurie Abraham, The New York Times Magazine
See also: “Exit Strategy.” The American Prospect. May 26, 2009
Stuffies is Looking For Submissions!
I am looking for stories from people who incorporate feederism into their everyday lives.
Unless you deal soley in fantasy or can only get off from extremes, feederism doesn’t have a lot of role models. There far fewer people who are “out” about their love of fat, food, or gaining than there are people who admit to loving BDSM, making it hard for someone to figure out what incorporating feederism into a real-life relationship would look like, let alone if it’s even possible.
Feederism is also often portrayed as frightening and abusive. The idea of a psychopathic male feeder stuffing a brainwashed female feedee makes for a sensational headline but is also a nasty slur. It does nothing to portray the wide array of desires, consensual relationships, and body types that are celebrated in feederism. I want to change that by showing off stories told by real-life people who have made thoughtful decisions about how they want to change their bodies and the bodies of others, who are honest about their sexual needs, and who want to pass on their experiences to those who are just starting to discover what really turns them on.
Are you…
In a long-term feeder/feedee relationship?
A female feeder?
A single male feedee who stuffs themselves regularly, rather than being “brainwashed” or “forced”?
Someone who wants to stuff without gaining?
A lesbian feeder, feedee, or gainer?
Someone who doesn’t identify as a feederist, but who incorporates eating into their sex life?
Someone who is attracted primarily to fat bodies, but isn’t interested in stuffing or gaining at all?
Any other relationship type or sexual orientation not listed here?
Then I want to hear from you!
Your story can be erotic—or not. What I don’t want is a fantasy that you’ve obviously written one-handed. These tales should be true and reflect your everyday life. Stories should be around the length of a blog post (maximum length = one single-spaced typed page). If you have an interesting story, but no writing skills, email me at missmollyren (at) gmail (dot) com and we can set up an interview. A good example of the kind of tale I’m looking for is The Macaroon Incident, or (heh) my own two experiences, Stuffing and Do Female Feeders Have One Night Stands?
You can send me your tale through this submission form, email it to me at missmollyren (at) gmail (dot) com, or blog it and tweet me the link.
Happy writing!
Molly Ren