Stuffies
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“ 32. “Whoever told you to tweak a girl’s nipples is stupid. Don’t! No girl has ever been proven to like this.”
The editorial team at Cosmo would like to make the following statement: “Nuh-uh.”
”—The 36 Most Ridiculous Sex Tips from Men’s Health and Maxim
You’re not supposed to tweak them, dumbass! You’re supposed to BITE them. Hard!
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This is our pinata for tonight.
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What’s the weirdest OKCupid message you’ve gotten?
I’ll start:
“I’d smell your bicycle seat.”
freesamuel suggests:
“the guy who wanted me to come to georgia for sex because he was so turned on by my body hair. Legit, first message he sent me.”
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Fun with OKCupid
Based entirely on my last batch of questions, I’m going to get matched with a chubby hipster boy that hates cats.
Based on my most recent matches, I’m going to get matched with an attorney who used to be in a punk band and does fire spinning on the weekends.
How am I supposed to respond to: “And yes, ladies, this man can cook.” OH BABY, I AM SO TURNED ON BY YOUR BASIC LIFE SKILLS?
Next match boasts he tried a new recipe TWICE this year. WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE.
User identifies himself as “a Southern gentleman”. I am imagining someone who will open doors for me, try to pay for everything, and is okay with slavery.
I got the message “I’d smell your bicycle seat”.
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So me having lots of sex really got to someone today. (Trigger warning for rape denial and a whole bunch of other nasty stuff.)
I am such an Internet small fry it’s really weird to read stuff like this.