I had captured the most intelligent man in the world and, working off of diagrams left to me by my predecessor, was about to undertake a complicated brain fluid exchange that would allow me to steal his brain power and become the most intelligent person instead.
The procedure involved injecting me and my victim with apple cider vinegar and milk. I was filling a syringe with vinegar when I realized I had no idea how to give someone an injection. Well, I thought, the most intelligent man in the world is a doctor, I can just force him to do it. But the fact that my syringe looked nothing like I thought a syringe was supposed to look bothered me. When I looked back through my notes for the fluid exchange procedure I remembered my science and realized that injecting vinegar into someone’s brain stem and putting milk in their bloodstream would do nothing to help my intelligence, though I had been convinced of the plan moments before. In fact, through further research I discovered my predecessor had died in agony after injecting himself in the brain with vinegar.
I went to the most intelligent man in the world and apologized for capturing him. He seemed to know that I would come to this conclusion eventually, said it was quite all right and gave me a lot of pastry.