Cee! I moaned over IM one night, I met this new boy and he’s too wonderful for me to talk to, what shall I do?
Cee: Stuff him and fuck him and hang him on the wall.
Cee: Then fuck him again.
Me: Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?
I honestly couldn’t make up my mind this week as to who sent me the most outrageous message. I mean, when I wouldn’t get back to his txt about taking him to a lingerie shop to try on girly undies, the Colt did this:
The Colt: *bites onto the tip of your tail*
The Colt: *sways around and keeps locked onto the little fluff at the end of your tail* grrr!
I can assure you, I admonished him severly! But just when I thought it was all over:
The Colt: I gun’ eat you tail first!
* * *
But wait! Cee's relationship advice was even better! Stay tuned!
I’ve had increasingly weird dreams lately. I told the Colt so in a text message this morning.
Me: I had zombie attack dreams. :-0
The Colt: ZOMBIES!
Me: Loads of ‘em. And me without my machine gun.
The Colt: I like zombie dragons.
Me: Learn something new every day.
Though, since this is the boy that has also expressed a liking for dragons in lingerie, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised?
◆ Confused as to who the heck it is that I’m writing about? Check out the Who’s Who of Stuffies.
I don’t know what I wrote anymore, but my UK friend Cee found it pretty offensive.
Cee: Theres a diffrence between being sexy and tasteless, you know
Me: I never quite figured that line out, I suppose. Anyway, feederism is supposed to be messy. Sex is messy. Or maybe I am just a tasteless American chubby chick.
Cee: Yeah, you’d fuck a bald eagle burger on top of the stars and stripes.
Cee: With a baseball shoved in your asshole—
Cee: —underneath your gun rack whilst your sister watches. American dream. :)