The thing that scares me is when you kick an abusive person out of your community and they literally create a whole other scene they can be in.
I’ve both watched it happen and heard stories. The community, for once, does everything right— they rally around the abused person, bar the abuser from their events, and let other people know.
(“Event”, for the purpose of this article, doesn’t mean anything national, like Dark Odyssey— just locally organized, regularly occurring house parties where BDSM play happens. “Community” means stuff like “local munches” or “poly households”, not the entire American BDSM scene as a whole.)
The abuser, barred from all local events, then starts their own event— which in some cases rivals the popularity of the pre-established kink events. Then, a year or more later, new people come into the scene and don’t know the reasons why the new event was established.
A friend of mine said that becoming a community organizer for a local under-30 event was like “joining the mafia”. When I asked her why, it was because when she became an organizer, she learned about all the past histories of local events from the previous organizers. The reason the “Tenleytown Fisting Party” group never used the play space provided by the “Georgetown Fisting Extravaganza” was because, three years ago, the “Extravaganza” had been founded by an abuser that had been kicked out of all the local fisting parties.