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What NOT to do if you’re a feedee:

Me: Maybe I should come over. I’ll pin you down and feed you ice cream.

Deep End: It wouldn’t take much these days. My arm takes away my ability to escape. (Ed.: he wrenched it during some shenanigans at a house party.)

Me:  Think of it as a training session. ;) When the giant movie theater slurpees come, you’ll be ready.

Deep End: I slurp the hell out of some slurpees.

Me: The largest ones at the theater here are like buckets.

Deep End: I know. It’s glorious. I once drank a 64 ounce one in 10 minutes just to win a bet.

Me: Wow. Did your tummy freeze?

Deep End: Not quite. I had mild hypothermia for two hours though.

Me: Awww.

Deep End: It wasn’t so funny at the time

Me: I didn’t even know that was *possible* until now.

Deep End: Sure. 64 ounces (half gallon) frozen liquid quickly ingested. All the blood flowing to and around my stomach was being chilled. That’s all hypothermia really is. Blood viscosity lowers and oxygen uptake drops. Systems slow down and the brain closes off activity to conserve oxygen. For two hours I was kind of brain numb, if that makes sense. I couldn’t really do much but sit there.

Deep End: But…I won eight bucks. It was worth it.

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