Stuffies: Why Fat Fetishists and Fat Activists Never End Up In Bed Together

molly-ren:

Amanda, of Feedee World, got pissed off with Fat Activism recently:

Marilyn Wann, aka the author of Fat? SO! and previously a member of the NAAFA board of directors, as just unfriended me on Facebook. Why? Because I told her I was a Feedee and that “[l]ong story short, life is very…

I’m thinking a lot lately about the relationship between FA and er… FAs, between preference and fetish, particularly in reference to the amount of fat positive types who are going naked on tumblr, and the mixed response it’s been receiving (the negative response I feel is err-ing on slut shaming at times, and whilst I’m alarmed about the tags that are sometimes used in these posts, I find it really amazing to see bodies like mine out there and to really begin to grasp how different bodies can be, and how this variety is pretty sexy too!). I am particularly concerned about the way that projects like adipositivity are accepted, and pictures taken for other purposes seem to sometimes get shunned/the poster occasionally shamed. I’m sex/porn positive, and I’m interested in art that transgresses boundaries, and I don’t necessarily believe in anything such as an art/porn divide.

I think most fats (me included) have had bad experiences in the BBW scene, or with FAs, or feeders, and written about it sometimes, because that commentary needs to be there. But what is really important is more dialogue between the communities. I’d agree with there still being a lot of hesitation over fat and sex (beyond just reinforcing the fact that yes, you can be attractive and sexual), and I think there’s a tendency towards normalising what sex you can have as a fat person i.e. we’re all supposed to accept ourselves and then head along what is otherwise a normative path (monogamy, marriage, babies and so on). Sometimes these commentaries feed into further separating the communities, and in reinforcing this as the only path, and also in excluding people involving in alt. communities.

I have no idea what I’m saying, just that I was interested in this post, and I think there should be more dialogue between fetishists and activists, and that more fat people need to write about fucking.

I originally expected to get more negative responses to what I wrote. Instead, I’m getting either crickets or thoughtful responses like this.

You wrote:

I am particularly concerned about the way that projects like adipositivity are accepted, and pictures taken for other purposes seem to sometimes get shunned/the poster occasionally shamed.

I’d like to hear more about this point. I’ve seen photos get apropriated by thinspo blogs and other people hostile to the fat acceptance community. Do you mean there’s been slut-shaming within the community?

I think most fats (me included) have had bad experiences in the BBW scene, or with FAs, or feeders, and written about it sometimes, because that commentary needs to be there.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with critiquing the online feederism/fat admiration community either. I have a laundry list of things I’d like to see improved within the community, but I still want the attraction itself to be a viable option for people. Does that make sense?