Stuffies

And then comes the point when you’re comfortable coming over, having plenty of time and privacy, and you share some dinner and talk a bit and hug a bit and go home. It’s easy for this to feel like you’re getting desexualized, domesticated, like the lust and passion are dying. But I don’t think it’s necessarily so. A little bit is the loss of that initial flame, but it’s also the loss of that initial desperation, that worry that “I could lose this at any moment, gotta get while the getting’s good.” Having someone you can fuck, and not fucking them, can be an act not of passivity but of fearlessness.

—The death of desperation.