Tangled Up In Lace: verybusyandimportant: true confessions of a fat admirer

true confessions of a fat admirer

valeriansays:

verybusyandimportant:

valeriansays:

I read this eleven years ago, and stumbled upon it today. The language isn’t perfect, and it’s not completely as body-positive as I’d like it to be, but it reminds me of…

It’s nearly 2 am here, and I need to be awake by 7, so I’ll just say this: the kind of article linked above is why fetishists can’t have nice things. Like, you know, legitimate sexualities.

Make sure to expand the notes and read the commentary people have left on the original article. I agree with the critiques: the euphemisms used for fat bodies makes me roll my eyes, fat people are legitimate human beings as much as the skinny ones are, we shouldn’t put them in a kind of sexual ghetto, etc. Actually, I hope that one day we can all see ourselves as normal.

And yet I’ve struggled for the entirety of my life with having the kind of libido that doesn’t respond to script, but only to a certain body type. We exist, and we don’t turn off the rest of our brains whenever we see a certain body part go by, though from the commentary I read here it would be easy to think that “chubby chasers” were incapable of real affection or emotional connection.

Mostly, I’m pissed at my fellow FAs. There is such a thing as respectful casual sex, where you know very little about someone except how they look, and yet you still see them as a human being. There’s the concept of being attracted to someone’s body *and* their personality. If you’re graduate level, you can even critique your own sexual subculture so it’s not falling prey to the same biases and prejudices about beauty as the larger culture. There are even ways to state physical preferences without sounding like a drooling moron, but you’d never know it from the stuff written above.

I’m tired of FAs being creepy, and feederism being seen as abuse. If you can’t educate yourself about fat acceptance, and if you can’t write about your sexual preferences in a way that doesn’t make you sound like a sexist pig, get the fuck out of my sexuality, so I don’t have to keep explaining over and over again about how yes, you *can* be attracted to someone while treating them better than a piece of meat, and yes, you *can* have physical preferences for a certain type of human without using the kind of language guaranteed to piss off every human who shares that body type.